Not Only is it Okay to Ask – But Your Hesitancy May Be a Sign You Need It
So many people pride themselves on their independence. They feel like they can – and should – handle everything that comes their way on their own, and they *HATE* the idea of asking for help. Maybe it feels weak, needy, or inefficient. Whatever it is, you have a belief that you can and should “tough it out.”
Mental health doesn’t work that way.
Why Does Asking for Help Feel So Hard?
Many of those that do not seek help when they need it have their own reasons based on their upbringing and experience that make it hard for them to ask. Examples include:
- You’ve built your identity around being capable and resourceful.
- You fear being judged, pitied, or seen as incapable.
- Depending on others feels like giving up control.
- You’d rather struggle silently than risk being misunderstood.
- You’ve been told that it’s a sign of weakness.
- You want to prove to yourself it’s not an issue.
Even those theoretically willing to seek help may delay and delay until it feels more severe before they take that step, because they believe that they *should* be able to handle it on their own – until the moment they know they can’t anymore.
Mental Health is Not That Simple
One thing that I wish people understood about mental health is that, even though it is treated through talking, the changes that take place when a person is struggling are chemical. They are taking place in the brain, with changes to the way your neurotransmitters and hormones operate and how your brain translates events.
The fact we can treat mental health challenges with therapy is, in some ways, almost miraculous. It shows just how connected our mind and body really are. But if you would see a doctor when you’re ill, then you should also think about seeing a therapist when you are struggling.
Therapy is Not a Crutch – It’s Time to Reframe Your Thoughts
Therapy doesn’t erase your self-sufficiency. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you failed at “handling it.” Therapy is a tool, almost like medicine, to help you sharpen and improve the strengths you already have. It’s a:
- Confidential space to take control of your own challenges without burdening others.
- Way to build new strategies that honor your independence.
- Chance to redefine strength as both resilience and connection.
- Opportunity to embrace your identity and maybe even learn more about who you are.
You’re not really “asking for help” when you seek a therapist. You’re deciding, with your own strength, that you’d like to talk to someone (that is not burdened by you, as it’s literally our job) and make your life better. That IS handling things yourself. That IS making sure you’re dealing with things on your own.
Therapy can support you in ways that align with your independence, help you grow, and give you the chance to thrive. If you’re ready to get started, reach out to me today.