People these days often embrace labels, for better or worse.
Gen Z, for example, will introduce themselves and share their MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) as though it defines who they are in every capacity.
People especially love calling themselves “introverts” and “extroverts” even though many people only loosely understand what they are. Many extroverts, for example, think that they’re “really introverts” because they get tired after long social outings, even though they thrived and received energy from those outings.
Many people that call themselves introverts, on the other hand, are not introverts at all. In fact, many of them are actually extroverts that struggle with social settings – or may even have social anxiety.
Social Anxiety and Extroversion/Introversion
Introversion and extroversion are not about whether someone enjoys people, but rather where they get their energy. Extroverts generally feel more energized and engaged after being around others, while introverts recharge by being alone.
Social anxiety, however, is not about energy. It is about fear, apprehension, and the anticipation of judgment.
This distinction matters because many individuals with social anxiety often assume they are introverts simply because they feel drained by social situations. The exhaustion, though, does not necessarily come from introversion. It comes from the mental strain of navigating fear and hypervigilance in social settings.
Why Social Anxiety Can Look Like Introversion
When someone has social anxiety, every interaction requires extra effort. They may be monitoring how they are being perceived, rehearsing what they are going to say, worrying about whether they said something wrong, or ruminating about the interaction afterward. This mental load is exhausting, and that exhaustion is often mistaken for introversion.
In reality, an extrovert with social anxiety might still want to be around people. They may crave connection, laughter, group activities, and belonging — all qualities associated with extroversion. But the anxiety that overlays those situations creates avoidance and fatigue, which makes them believe they are actually introverted.
There is even an argument to be made that the desire to address social anxiety may itself be a sign of extroversion. Most introverts prefer to be alone, and may not see social anxiety as a threat to their happiness. Extroverts, on the other hand, desire social connection. They simply feel like they cannot have it.
Note: Most people are more complicated than this, but it is illustrative of how the way we think about social anxiety and introversion/extroversion may not be entirely accurate.
How to Tell the Difference
Separating true introversion from social anxiety involves paying attention to what happens when anxiety is removed or reduced:
- Desire vs. Avoidance – Introverts usually do not seek out large social gatherings, even when they feel calm and safe. Extroverts with social anxiety may avoid social events, but deep down they often wish they could go, enjoy themselves, and connect.
- Energy Source – Extroverts who work through social anxiety usually discover that, once the fear decreases, they feel energized after socializing. Introverts, even in comfortable environments, often feel depleted after extended interaction.
- Thought Patterns – Anxiety brings self-conscious thoughts: “What are they thinking about me?” “I’m going to embarrass myself.” Introverts, by contrast, may skip events because they prefer solitude, not because of fear of judgment.
Because personality labels are so widely used, many people confuse “introversion” with “social discomfort.” But these are separate domains. An introvert can have strong social skills and no anxiety, while an extrovert can struggle with debilitating fear of speaking or connecting. The labels blur further because social anxiety leads to avoidance, which from the outside looks like introversion.
Implications for Therapy and Growth
Understanding this difference is important for anyone pursuing personal growth or therapy. If a person mislabels themselves as an introvert, they may accept loneliness and avoidance as part of their “personality” rather than addressing the anxiety that is interfering with their life.
Therapy for social anxiety — whether CBT, exposure-based therapy, or other evidence-based approaches — often reveals that many clients are far more socially motivated than they realized.
As anxiety decreases, they may find themselves thriving in the very environments they once avoided, rediscovering that they gain energy from being with people. This shift highlights that what looked like introversion was actually a symptom of anxiety.
Rethinking What Social Anxiety Means
The idea that “introverts are shy” and “extroverts are outgoing” oversimplifies complex realities. Social anxiety is a separate condition that can disguise an extroverted personality beneath layers of fear and avoidance. Recognizing this difference allows people to understand themselves more clearly and prevents them from accepting limits that don’t belong to them.
Someone who believes they are an introvert may, in fact, be an extrovert whose natural energy and motivation to connect has been blocked by anxiety. With the right support, they can often reclaim that part of themselves and experience social situations in the way that feels most natural to them.
If you feel like you have social anxiety, no matter whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, reach out to me today and let’s talk about how we can help.