Dogs, Anxiety, and You – How a Dog Can Be Helpful and Hurtful for Your Anxiety

Yesterday, I had someone contact me with a request: they asked me if I had a quote I could provide them on the benefits of dogs for anxiety, hoping that I could share something positive about the effects of dogs on a person’s mental health.

Yet, while I do think that dogs can help with anxiety. But I do not think it is possible to act as though that support is constant and universal. So what I shared with him was a story:

There was a time, not too long ago, where I had a client who was upset because his dog was acting in a way that could be described as “racist.”

Confused, I asked him what that meant, and he explained that when he was walking his dog by his apartment, and he saw people approaching who were African American, the dog would begin to bark viciously at them. He said this would occur every single time that the dog noticed an African American walking nearby, and did not occur with other races and ethnic backgrounds.

Not surprisingly, the client would constantly feel upset, embarrassed, and anxious. He was worried that would be blamed for his dog’s reactions, and there might be a confrontation.

There are two important things to understand about this situation:

  • This client struggled with anxiety, which is why we were seeing each other in the first place.
  • His dog was very well-trained.  She wore a shock collar and had attended behavioral training programs with him. She was normally very in-tune with her owner’s needs and commands.

This was not a case of a misbehaving dog, or even a dog that had experienced trauma.

We explored his feelings together and noticed something: each time, he noticed the people approaching before his dog did.

He told me he would start worrying, telling himself “oh no, what can I do?  She’s going to bark and they are going to think I am a member of a white supremacy group… they are going to hate me.”

He shared that he noticed his anxiety levels would spike, then his fears would be confirmed, because not long after, the dog would start growling.

What was actually happening was that this dog was attuned to her master – she was not angry at the people she was seeing down the street. She was following her genetic intuition – to protect him at all costs. And because she – like many dogs – was capable of sensing that he was feeling anxious and that his comfort was threatened, she interpreted the situation that these people approaching were the threat.

It was not that the dog felt they were a threat to her. It was that the dog felt that her owner was anxious, and then believed that must mean they were a threat to him.

So, the client and I worked together to bring her into therapy with him, and we noticed other things she would do when she sensed his anxiety.  When he would pace, she would get in the way repeatedly until he sat down. When he sat down, she would sit on his feet and prompt him to pet her.  When he lay down, she would lie down alongside him and he could feel her breathing.  He found that petting her, breathing with her, etc. all were calming and helped reduce his agitation.  He was able to sleep at night because he could feel her heartbeat and his would also slow down.

[side note: dogs, in this way, can be pretty incredible]

Ultimately, we worked on his mindset when he was walking.  He’d remind himself that she was there to protect him IF he was under threat, and as long as he practiced his breath work while on their walks, she would never get the message he needed protecting.  

He got better, she got better, and everyone was happier.

But the reason that this story was so important, and the reason that I brought this up to the person that asked for a quote, was because it highlighted that while dogs can decrease anxiety, they can also increase it.

Just like a child, lover, or friend, there are times when they can help you manage your anxiety and times when they’re the source of it.

When it comes to truly addressing anxiety, we have to handle things internally. We have to work with a therapist, focus on self-care, and learn calming techniques. Dogs can certainly provide some support for anxiety, but it would be incorrect to imply that they are, or should be considered, some type of stress-relieving cure. Dog ownership has its challenges as well.

You should consider a dog if you truly love dogs, not as a way to relieve stress. Focus on how you can decrease your stress internally, and just allow your dog to be yet another positive part of your life.

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